Wednesday, 4 October 2017

Getting the balance back

Its been a while since I last posted and I am happy to report, all is ok on the cancer front and I am adjusting to life without the ovaries. Hot flushes are still an unfortunate part of my life and I do hate them BUT winter is coming and the weather is cooler so life becomes less hot and bothered.

Last week I had a appointment with my new oncologist Dr G. is amazing I really get on with her and 
its been a long time since I actually spoke with a full fledged Onc. as my previous Onc. sadly died of liver cancer however, I always seemed to be dealt with by registrars. I've complained a lot of times about feeling out of balance, my size 32 chest has grown to a size 42 on the remaining breast and its a pain, not only is it massive and heavy its exasperated by the fact I can't wear a bra, I've tried every bra known to mankind and none of them are supportive and pain free. My problem is I had a lot of lymph nodes out and due to the fact that I was skinny (size 8 back then) the nodes were in with all the muscle which my surgeon had to dissect, it took him ages and he had to cut through muscle, my armpit area and my torso on the right hand side are badly scarred and so whenever I wear a bra no matter what type it digs into my scar tissue and ends up feeling very painful, so much so that I have to take the bra off after only half an hour! So this leaves me not wearing a bra most of the time and feeling very out of balance, Dr G. could see how out of balance I was carrying myself and suggested that she would refer me to a breast surgeon who could perform a mastectomy of the left hand side breast as a life enhancing operation. Fantastic! So I am now waiting for an appointment to see a breast surgeon and whilst they have a policy of not operating on a healthy breast they might when they realise how out of balance I carry myself and the ramifications of this on my body and life. Considering they perform breast enlargement on the NHS I think this isn't a big ask, considering what I've got and what I've been through. Dr G did explain that it wouldn't be this year as its not an emergency which is fine by me, I'd rather have it next year anyway. So fingers crossed this will happen and I will be rid of the massive boob that blights my life.

Sunday, 13 August 2017

Life after ovaries operation...

Its been around 3 weeks since my ovaries were removed and so far I've had 3 migraines (I was up to around 4 a week previously) which is absolutely amazing and something I didn't anticipate, I also didn't think the hot flushes would get any better but bizarrely they have improved drastically, I no longer have the pulsating red face when I get a hot flush, rather sweat for a couple of minutes which pours off of my face then it stops and for once in 6 years I actually feel the cold, went out to the annual fireworks show and was feeling the cold, I was over joyed by this other people looked at me in astonishment but to me it was a major breakthrough, finally I can wear my cardigans and leggings without stripping down to a thin sleeveless dress all the time.

I am healing well where the scars are and they are literally disappearing before my eyes the only downside is I've put on a couple of pounds, not a huge amount but a bit of a disappointment, however I'm not going to let this get me down and rejoice at the migraine and hot flush results. I can safely say I am now post-menopausal just waiting for all the nasty side effects to stop and the results so far are giving me a much needed boost that this can and will happen. All in all I am very pleased with these results and feel happy in myself.

My father is battling the effects of his 2nd stroke and after 4 months in hospital! he is now in his own room in a convalescence home which we hope and pray he will improve in the next month or so and then finally return home. Its been a long 4 months but strokes really do take a long time to recover from, I don't think you ever really return to your normal self, but thankfully due to my brothers quickness in getting an ambulance, we believe this has saved as much of him as possible. I pray everyday for him and love him very much.

Thursday, 3 August 2017

Della has departed but never forgotten.....

I don't really know where to start with this, tears over this, the wonderful Della has passed away, I didn't realise it was that bad, I knew she was struggling and prayed for her every day. This fucking vile disease takes yet another beautiful soul from the planet. The only consolation is she is no longer suffering. RIP discombobulated one, you were a tower of strength and an inspiration to all.

Night night Disco Della, I pray your dancing away up there in heaven having a ball, far away on the other side, blinding everyone with your brilliant light, leaving us all in the dark, but for the wit and writing in your wonderful blog to console us.

Missing you so much. xx

Ovaries gone

It all happened so quickly one minute quietly going about my daily business not considering that within days my ovaries operation would happen. Both ovaries, fallopian tubes and a large polyp thingy have been removed, gone, goodbye, fini. Yep went into hospital at 7am came out on same day at 7pm a whole 12 hour stint in there bloody hell fire that was a full on kind of day. How do I feel? pretty much the same but for a bit sore around the abdomen also very itchy where the skin is mending other than that all is good. So far since op I've had one migraine WOW (I was suffering with up to 4 a week) and hot flushes are minimal and when they do happen they are nowhere near as bad as before. Mental or what? Didn't anticipate the plus side of having it all removed other than the obvious in that I don't have to have the Zoladex implant anymore Hurray! and Im not producing estrogen from my god dam ovaries YAY. So I will continue to talk to you all about this and any plus's that might arise in the area of weight loss, (secretly hoping that this might be a bloody fantastic side effect). My gynae consultant/surgeon came and saw me afterwards he told me that due to chemo my bowel had dropped inside and in doing so was now touching one of my ovaries, he said the part that was touching on my bowel was inflamed and looked very angry, so aside from the list above I would also like to add that I am so glad they have taken them, all sorts of problems from things touching each other that shouldn't be touching. This was a hidden benefit that I hadn't anticipated, so all in all totally happy with my decision to remove said ovaries and any possibility of getting ovarian cancer due to the Zoladex implant which apparently increased my risk ten fold. So adios amigos I wont miss em and I certainly wont mourn there loss.